You are a void in my life. A blur in my childhood. The memories we shared have faded away, and I am left with nothing.
"I want to be just like you, mama," I said to you a decade ago. "I hate you," I said a decade later.
You are not a mother. You are a monster.
You used to be my best friend, you know. I used to turn to you for advice and companionship. Now I hate seeing you. I dread seeing you.
The only time I see you is when you come downstairs for another beer. Or to complain about your job. That's all I hear from you. I roll my eyes and keep to myself. As I feel like exploding.
"I never want to drink or smoke," I tell them. They look at me like I am crazy. "I don't want to end up like her," I say.
I want to remain sane. For the rest of my life.
I don't want to be miserable. I don't want to drink my life away. Or watch it disappear like a cloud of smoke-- from a cigarette.
Name:Michelle Michelle
